To the narrative therapist, context is everything. Therapeutic inquiry seeks
to deconstruct discourses and the institutions that promote them. These
discourses create social realities that often keep problematic relational patterns
alive (White, 1991).
Terry and Shawn enter therapy with a very thin description of their relationship
(Geertz, 1973; White, 1991). Terry is “too emotional” and Shawn is
“distanced and shut down.” This relationship-restraining story has the couple
caught in a repetitive cycle of blaming each other for what’s wrong in
their relationship. By eliciting the messages that Shawn received in his training
as a young adult, he identifies the following discourse: “If a woman cries,
it ’s my fault.” Instead of locating the problem within Shawn, we turn an evaluative
eye on this discourse and how it shapes Shawn’s understanding of
gender relationships. In so doing, space is opened for Shawn to evaluate the
real effects of this discourse on his life, and he’s invited to choose whether or
not these beliefs serve his own preferences for his relationship. At the same
time, Terry is invited to consider renegotiating other discourses that may be
constraining to the couple, and she identifies this one: “Emotion equals weakness.”
Through this process of expanding the couple’s options, Terry and
Shawn begin exploring alternative descriptions of themselves as a couple
and find themselves on the path to relationship-promoting practices.
