Partners’ expectations of one another, conscious or unconscious, are largely
formed by long-past experiences. Unspoken assumptions and hidden expectations
lead to great misunderstanding. A Mind Reading tool is taught for
respectfully checking out assumptions rather than proceeding without
knowing what is true for the partner or with mind reading without permission.
To help couples become more aware of their hidden assumptions,
Gordon catalogued the common Love Knots, or unexamined beliefs, that sabotage
intimate relationships. (See If You Really Loved Me . . . , Gordon, 1996.)
Couples learn to recognize knots and to untangle them so that they lose their
power to sabotage the relationship.
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